I saw you at the store and I’m sorry I didn’t speak
I guess my anxiety got the best of me.
More and more she’s controlling me
I’m not sure when she got here, but I really hope she leaves.
On my phone are unopened messages from the past 5 weeks
Voice memos I haven’t heard, and text messages I know I won’t read.
I don’t know when I became this
But I promise it’s not you at all.
I need you to know,
It’s just me, and my anxiety.
It was my intention to keep contact when I said I would last year.
When we make plans to catch up, she tells me you don’t really care.
I meant to come visit all the times I said I would,
But I wasn’t able to, and I feel rude and misunderstood.
She taunts me with everything that I truly can’t know,
And tells me all the bad that will happen if I decide to go.
I hope you know what I’ve said is what I really meant
Don’t take my silence for what you think it is
I’m sorry, it isn’t me-
I can’t seem to break from my anxiety.