I saw you at the store and I’m sorry I didn’t speak

I guess my anxiety got the best of me.

More and more she’s controlling me

I’m not sure when she got here, but I really hope she leaves.


On my phone are unopened messages from the past 5 weeks

Voice memos I haven’t heard, and text messages I know I won’t read.

I don’t know when I became this

But I promise it’s not you at all.

I need you to know,

It’s just me, and my anxiety.


It was my intention to keep contact when I said I would last year.

When we make plans to catch up, she tells me you don’t really care.

I meant to come visit all the times I said I would,

But I wasn’t able to, and I feel rude and misunderstood.

She taunts me with everything that I truly can’t know,

And tells me all the bad that will happen if I decide to go.


I hope you know what I’ve said is what I really meant

Don’t take my silence for what you think it is

I’m sorry, it isn’t me-

I can’t seem to break from my anxiety.


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